How I Self-Soothe as a Therapist

Self-soothing is a strategy meant to reset our neurophysiology after a stressful event. It’s something you do to help your nervous system calm down and realize everything is okay. Whether stress is real or imagined, or one big event or a lot of small events, stress agitates the body, and needs to be dealt with. That is where self-soothing comes in!

As a therapist, I teach the importance of self-soothing whenever my clients get stressed, anxious, or triggered. And I wouldn’t be a good therapist if I didn’t practice what I preach!

Today, I’d like to share with you some of my personal favorite self-soothing strategies!

Relaxing in Nature

One of my favorite things to do is sit in the sun with my eyes closed, and just focus on my breath and the warmth of the sun. Feeling what it’s like to breathe a little deeper than I usually do, but also not trying too hard. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin is like getting a hug from nature.

If you want a little razzle dazzle, hang up some wind chimes to add a dimension of gentle music. If you’ve got a porch or patio, perfect! If you don’t, bring the chimes to a park — I’m pretty sure that’s not illegal.

I promise you, this is such a simple recipe for peace. I dare you to try and stay stressed while gently sunbathing with chimes — you can’t do it!

Checking-In to My Internal World

When I get overwhelmed or overstimulated with life events, I like to reconnect with my internal world. I do this by limiting sensory stimuli.

I struggle to relax sitting, so I like to lay down. It’s easier for me to release physical tension in my body and surrender to gravity.

Then I close my eyes, because so much of my day involves looking at screens and reading. I like to give myself a moment where my eyes don’t have to focus on anything.

I also wear ear plugs to reduce sound, because if you live in an apartment building or in a close-quarter neighborhood, you know how loud the world can be. It’s so rare to have real silence, so I facilitate it as best as I can.

Once I’ve turned down the intensity of the world around me, I focus on the space just below my skin. It sounds a little weird, but if you try it, you’ll know what I mean. I tune-in to my inner world by first and foremost finding it; under my skin.

Sometimes this dip below the surface is all I need to rest and refresh. Other times, it’s where I find unprocessed emotions or unmet needs that amplified the external stress worse than it actually was.

Exercise

Are you sick of everyone telling you how important exercise is for your health? Too bad!

Stress lives in the body, so it needs to be processed physiologically. I’m not going to go into the science of endorphins and all the health benefits of exercise; that’s for another channel.

To me, exercise is how I wring out my emotional sponge. It’s how I get out of my head, and back into my body. I know that if I don’t work out for more than two days in a row, it will negatively affect my mood and wellbeing. I think less clearly and feel more negative emotion.

My favorite ways to physically expel trapped energy is through dance, weightlifting, cardio or yoga.

Shakti Mat/Pillow

If we’re having a hard time winding down or getting sleepy before bed, my husband and I lay on shakti mats and pillows. They are covered in little spikes that activate acupressure points on the body to release tension and promote circulation.

The spikes don’t penetrate the skin, but for the first 5 minutes or so, it is a little uncomfortable. However, the next 15-20 minutes feel incredible! My body feels warm, relaxed, and I can reach a blissful, meditative state; which, again, is really hard for me to do on my own.

We like to put a blanket over us and play relaxing instrumental music, or listen to a chill audiobook.

Naps

I think of naps like a hard reset.

When I’m feeling a little off, slow, or wonky, sometimes I pretend I’m an internet router and turn myself off and back on again. Even if I don’t actually fall asleep, sometimes just resting for 15-20 minutes is enough to allow my brain and body to return to homeostasis.

Where Can I Find More Help?

If you’re interested in learning other great self-soothing techniques — therapy can be a great resource for you!

Maybe you aren’t fully ready for therapy yet — That’s okay too! Click the button below to subscribe to my YouTube Channel, Tips from a Therapist, where I offer some of my best tips on how to improve your relationship with yourself and other people.

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The more you know, the more you grow!