Navigating a Polarized Political Climate
It’s election season — and just like cold and flu season, everyone is stressed and uncomfortable.
It is no surprise that politics is an extremely triggering topic for most people. The political climate is polarized, and people are at odds about what the future of our country should look like, and who should be trusted with making that happen. One’s candidate of choice gives insight into a person’s values and priorities, and it can be shocking to hear that people in our family and friend group can have vastly different opinions than us.
Practical Tips for Navigating Politically Polarized People
Especially on topics that we consider common sense! Cutting-off and shutting-down everyone who doesn’t share our political opinions is not a sustainable (or wise) solution. In order to navigate this climate with grace and tact, we need to keep a few things in mind:
It's not our job or our place to change someone's mind. They are allowed their own opinion, values, and priorities.
The more we try to change someone's mind, the harder they cling to their opinion, and criticize ours. Don’t try to teach a pig to fly— you can’t do it, and it bothers the pig.
Based on their upbringing, life situation, and experiences, their opinion makes sense to them. In their mind, they have good reason to think the way they do. It is a slippery slope from criticizing a person’s beliefs, to criticizing them as a person.
The current political climate is polarizing for a reason; to divide the masses. There is a larger function behind polarizing people and getting us to turn against each other, rather than to band together and upset the current status quo.
Curiosity allows for conversation. If we can be curious about why they think the way they do, it accomplishes multiple things. First, we are less reactive, and can stay present as someone explains what is important to them. Second, we rebel against the goal of polarization, and create space for a dialogue, rather than a debate. Third, it models how they can interact with someone who is different from them, and it shows them that the other side isn't as closed-minded as they assumed.
Conversation allows for connection. Listening and being curious creates the opportunity to find places where you agree with the other side. If you can, spend as much time as possible in these topics. Connect rather than criticize.
Emotions > Logic. While human beings are capable of logic, we tend to make most of our decisions based off our emotions. With that said, hurling facts, figures, logic and rationalizations isn’t going to be as effective as we might hope. This means we need to be mindful of how our listeners are interpreting what we say from an emotional standpoint, rather than a logical one.
Know your audience. Some people are looking for a fight. You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. If it can’t be a dialogue, don’t RSVP.
Investigate your triggers. Consider if there are other factors surrounding the person or the topic that compound your triggering. Sometimes there have been people or events in our past that escalate how we feel on certain political topics. Check yourself, and understand what’s going on so you can approach from an informed place.
Know your limits. Don’t show up with a knife to a gun fight. If you know that you aren’t ready or willing for this type of curious conversation, minimize proximity until you are more grounded and emotionally/mentally prepared.
Put your efforts where they will do the most good. These steps alone will not alleviate all of your anxiety, but they can help with practice. It may also be helpful to invest some of this anxious energy in supporting the candidate or cause that you care about. Some people get caught up in arguing and debating that they don’t vote or take action to help create the change they believe in. Speaking from a physics perspective, it is a lot easier to go with the momentum of your cause, rather than trying to stop and reverse someone else’s.
People over politics. Remember that the people we aren’t agreeing with are people. Don’t fall for the trap of oversimplifying a person by what their political beliefs are. We are all more complex than we seem, and we are all greater than a single moment or opinion.
Now, does that mean they will be civil and curious with you as well? NOPE! But we can only control ourselves. I'm gonna be real, depending on who I'm interacting with, this is sometimes hard for me too. But if you notice a pattern in yourself related to a struggle with politics that really impacts your level of functioning and quality of life, there may be something there that needs to be addressed and processed…
Where Can I Find Help?
As a therapist, obviously I’m biased, and I think most people can benefit from therapy. Especially in the realm of improving communication skills. If you are curious about therapy and want to learn more, I encourage you to begin by clicking around my website. But I totally get that therapy can be intimidating, hard to find, time consuming, and expensive.
That’s why I’ve written a book that is a fraction of the price of one therapy session! It’s called: The Root of Relationships: How to Know Yourself, Understand Others, and Create the Relationships You Want. I’ve already spent the money and time to get advanced education and training in Psychology, Sociology, and Psychotherapy, packed some of the best stuff into one place, and made it easy to understand and digest. Sign up with your email on my “Book Publications” tab, and download the accompanying free workbook!
If you think you’re beyond a book and ready to dive into some hardcore therapy, Contact Me for a free 15 minute consultation with me, where we can talk about what pursuing therapy together might look like.
The more you know, the more you grow!
